Our current potential donor is at the infamous test that both Dave and my brother did not pass. We are hoping to have a confirmation on the final medical test by next week. After that, due to schedules, it will be another month before the candidate can travel to do the final 3 consults to get a yes or a no on being a donor. Only after that month can we schedule the nephrectomy and the transplant. So we are looking at end of May/end of June respectively. I have challenged the transplant/donor coordination teams to allow for us to embrace technology and do the final 3 consults remotely using video conference so we can get the final yes/no more quickly. There is no reason in today's world that we HAVE to be face to face to talk to each other. It is safe to say my "mama bear" is in full force right now.
The emotional state of our family is very high. Dave and I have been so stressed for the last four months it is really taking a toll on all of the family. Over the last month a friend indicated that high stress situations over extended periods of time can put an exorbitant level of strain on a relationship. He said his hope was that we were finding a way to make our relationship stronger despite all of the tension. It was honestly the first time I had thought about how Dave and I were operating together. We both have short fuses these days and get snippy with each other, but we are as strong as we have ever been working through this together. At no point have either of us tapped out in anyway. We read each other signals and even when we are both spent for a day, there is an unspoken understanding which one of us needs to step up to the plate on behalf of the other.
In the 15 years we have been together I have known multiple times I was lucky to stand by such a human being. However, nothing can prepare you for watching your child's health dwindle and be helpless to fix it. To physically see Logan morph into someone that is not the happy go lucky sweetie pie for the last 7 years is heart wrenching both of us. When your child is in pain, frail, and emotionally charged due to this disease, being able to adjust your parenting style seamlessly with your partner to accommodate the unknown is truly remarkable. (Or maybe it is just prep for teenage years. :) ) For those that know Dave, you know how funny, genuine, and understanding he is. For those that don't know him, you are missing out on an exceptional person.
I am grateful that my friend shared his vantage point with me. It is so easy to lose ourselves in what needs to get done, we forget about the person standing right beside us helping us navigate through the "how" each day. In honor of Dave, please give a shout out to him and all he does and continues to do for his family. The strength others see in me is 95% because he stands behind me holding me up.
Hugs and Love from our family,
Ann & Dave
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